Sometimes even one simple revelation can flip everything on its head in a relationship. In this story, everything was fine, but, suddenly, one thing changed the situation. The reader’s boyfriend discovered that she is not just his flatmate but also the landlord of the very building they call home.
We got a message from our reader.
I own a house with a spare apartment that I rent out. Not so long ago, my boyfriend of 5 months moved in with me. He didn’t know that I was a landlord.
Yesterday my renter came up to my apartment and paid the rent in cash. because she had some problems with bank transfers.
My boyfriend noticed that and his jaw nearly dropped. He asked why she gave me the money and I said that I was her landlord. His face turned red, and he started screaming at me. He blamed me for hiding the fact that I had extra space. He said I could have offered it to his brother who was struggling to find an apartment. He said, “You should evict your tenant and let my brother live there for free.”
I’m seriously considering this because his brother might be my future family after all. I apologized, but my boyfriend says he won’t talk to me until his brother moves in with us.
Thank you for sharing your situation with us and reaching out. We’ve got some valuable tips that could be the perfect solution for you!
Reconsider this relationship.
He never offered you to pay half of the rent, and he wasn’t “ashamed” of living with you rent-free. Apparently, he knew you were paying the entire rent. This is a big red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. His behavior changed drastically when he found out you owned the place. Besides, he has the audacity to criticize you and demand that his brother should live with you.
Stand your ground and don’t bend.
It’s better not to let his brother live in your place. Instead, you can evict your boyfriend and break up. He uses your kindness, and you shouldn’t be get used or spoken to like that in your own home. There’s no way you should “do good” in this situation. Otherwise, your own home will turn into a nightmare.
Live separately.
You’ve been together only for 5 months, and you already moved in together. You might have rushed things a little bit. You both still don’t know each other that well to cohabit. It’s better to talk things through, meet his parents and be ready to work on some minor disagreements without drama.
Moving in together is an important step in any relationship. Sometimes even knowing someone for a year doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be living peacefully together.
Have a third party around if you break up.
Breaking up with your boyfriend might be quite challenging bearing in mind that you’ll also have to evict him. If you’re going to have such a talk, make sure there’s someone else around. Some people can surprise you when you break up. In some cases, it can even lead to violence.
Even if you don’t think he’s capable of that, have someone in the house with you anyway, just in case. He might not become physically violent, but manipulative. You might want to have a male relative or friend around in case your boyfriend reacts too negatively and starts damaging your property.
