The birth of a child is one of the most significant moments in a couple’s life, but Teresa was heartbroken when her husband chose to spend the day with his son instead of being present for the birth of their baby. This decision set off a chain of unfortunate events, leaving her unsure of how to move forward. Now, she’s seeking advice on how to navigate the challenges ahead.
Here is Teresa’s letter:
I was pregnant with my 1st child, my husband has 3. The day my water broke, he didn’t come to the hospital. He texted, “It’s my son’s first football game.
I promised I’d be there. Our newborn won’t recall this day anyway.”
I said don’t come home. He didn’t show up for 3 days. Worried, I went to his ex’s
house, she looked flustered. I froze when I found out my husband had been staying there in the guest room because he felt offended when I asked him not to come home.
I was furious, and to make it worse, she turned to me and said, “Well, your husband already has three kids, so this fourth one isn’t as special to him as it is to you.” Then she added, “His first family will always be more important, and that’s just how life is.”
I couldn’t say a word and left. After seeing my husband’s indifference and hearing his ex’s words, I’m seriously considering divorce.
Today, 4 days after the birth, he finally came to meet his daughter. While I know he can be a great and devoted dad, his attitude has shocked me.
What should I do?
– Teresa
Thank you for sharing your story, Teresa! We’ve prepared some tips that can help you navigate through this situation.
Address your feelings with your husband.
Sit down with him and explain how deeply hurt you were by his decision to prioritize his son’s football game over the birth of your daughter. Mention that his absence, especially during such a significant moment, felt like a betrayal. He may not realize how damaging it was for you emotionally. Try to get him to understand why his actions have made you question the future of your relationship.
Establish boundaries with his ex.
His ex’s comments were not only hurtful but also highly inappropriate. Tell your husband how disrespectful it felt when she belittled your child’s importance.
You might also want to confront his ex directly, making it clear that while she may have her opinions, she has no place undermining your family. Set clear boundaries to avoid her interference in your marriage.
Evaluate his commitment to both families.
His ex implied that his “first family” will always matter more, but you need to determine if that’s truly how your husband feels. Ask him directly if he shares her view. If he does, this will be a major issue going forward, as it suggests he might continue to neglect his role in your new family.
Knowing where he stands will help you make an informed decision about whether the marriage can work.
Consider counseling before making a final decision.
Before jumping to divorce, you might benefit from couples counseling to explore the root of his behavior. A professional can mediate and help uncover whether his reaction was a one-time issue or indicative of deeper problems. If his attitude doesn’t change, or he doesn’t show a willingness to improve, then you’ll have more clarity on whether divorce is the right path.